Machete Slingshot!

Wowsers. So I just watched the season finale of Castle that I dvr’d last night.  It was pretty intense.  I was highly suspicious at first, but damn it picked up. And how about some spoilers now… So if you don’t want them.. Leave! The bastard chief has been in on everything the entire time.  Montgomery who we had all come to love and trust is apparently a giant douche.  He made a valiant exit of the show and died tho.  The episode also ended with Becket getting sniped.  However everybody knows that there is no show without her, so the producers already stated she will be in next season, and her and Castle may finally get some loving on. Right.

Speaking of no shows without the female, Lisa Edelstein is leaving House, so no more Cuddy for season 8.  Really not sure how that is going to work.  I sense a great disappointment and failure.  Especially because we wont get to see her in any more tight tops. Boobs…

Also saw a pretty decent debate between Bill O’Reilly and Jon Stewart over Common being at the White House Poetry Shindig.  To be perfectly honest, I don’t see what the big deal is.  He does poetry, it was a poetry thing. He has controversial views, so does anybody else that wants to get noticed.  If you are the same as everybody else, you are kindly told to go fuck yourself.


And another thing. Pain, we all experience it, but everybody deals with it in different ways.  Some have much higher pain tolerances.  Others are like me, fucking weird.  So earlier today my back decided to go out and hurt terribly.  Have been bitching about it to anybody who wanted to listen.  Got home and laid down, shifted just right and suddenly couldn’t breathe well, back hurt worse.  Luckily for me, my wife decided to take pity on my and rub my back.  That was all fine and good.. but it hurt horribly. I wanted to cry, so I… laughed. I couldn’t help it. Laughed as though I were a school girl being tickled on her knee and then promptly made fun of for being boy crazy. Not that I have ever had that experience… Either way. Weird shit. Laughed hard enough to make tears come from my eyes.  Yes, I amaze myself sometimes.

On that note, my son amazes, entertains, and also creeps the hell out of me.  He is 3 1/2 and has grown fairly adept at sarcasm.  He gets what you may call a bit of practice squaring off with me.  But the other day, he decided to act like he forgot it and go all literal on everything I said. So it starts off with me telling him I need to poop, so he should go enjoy cartoons for a few minutes/hours depending. He laughs and punches me in the stomach, then asks ‘Does that help, daddy?’ with just the most adorable evil grin on his face.  So I tell him, ‘No, it doesn’t help, and as a matter of fact if you do it again, I will poop on your face.’ He laughs and asks, ‘You are going to poop on my face daddy?’ ‘Why yes son, that’s what I said, so don’t punch my stomach’ I then stand up to go do the deed. He jumps up and darts over to me, head first into my ass and asks ‘You going to poop on my face daddy? Do it! Poop on my face daddy, poop on my face daddy…’ And repeat.

Now. I can handle some weird and freaky shit.  But there has not been a time in the recent past that I can recall that I was ever as disturbed as that. So I hope that teaches you something. Or at least makes you laugh. Or even ponder at how screwed up I am and fear for my child as he grows older.

Goodnight, and here is your Machete Slingshot(yes I’m an asshole for getting your attention and then making you wait. Jedi Mind Trick)


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  1. I find it sad that one of the last unbiased news anchors is a comedian on a comedy network.
    I’d like to say though, Booouya!

  2. It is truly sad indeed. I know we’ve had that conversation before. It is also amazing that Jon Stewart really just led O’Reilly right where he wanted him.

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