Boredom With a Gun

I do dumb things when I am bored.  I have sat my back yard on fire on accident.  I have ‘fixed’ things that weren’t broken.  I have made up silly songs.  I have ranted and raved at the wall.  I’ll keep things from going too weird on you though.  There are many more things though.    Please just take my word for it.

I have never been bored with a gun though.  I must say that this is surely a good thing.  I imagine that it would end up something like the Family Guy when Peter gets a gun.  He uses it for everything, turning out the lights, opening stuff, you know whatever works.  Maybe not to the extreme of that…. but definitely trying to use it to open a soda.  Maybe even to take care of mice.  I don’t know that I would ever want to chase down a cow tho.  Apparently the Canadian police don’t have an issue with that though.  Do enjoy.  Damn cow is charging!

Bet you wish you were a Canadian cop, huh?

You ever have one of those….phases, times, days, weeks, whatever that you don’t feel like being nearly as social as you normally are?  Do you get to enjoy those moments and have some nice solitude that you have been craving oh so dearly?  Or are you lucky like me and almost always smiling and making others smile, so the very second you try to go introvert and enjoy not doing that people stop what they are doing to come and interrupt the solitude.  They have to know what is wrong and will not take ‘nothing’ for an answer.  That is irksome.  Many times I want to tell them that there only appears to be a problem because this is the 35th time I’ve been asked what the problem is and have grown incredibly tired of answering the same way and not being believed.  Maybe that sounds unappreciative, and I know they are trying to help, but why can’t just leave well enough alone?

I know.  Mean ‘Ol Mr. McDoucherson.  Just has to be selfish.  What a tool.

Hmm.  On a lighter note, have you ever pondered about the origin or words?  I do from time to time.  I was thinking about the honorifics ‘Sir’ and ‘Ma’am’ or ‘Madam’ earlier.  So I thought about it.  I came to a conclusion or two.  Mainly just the one, but have to say more to make you think that I think more than I do think, I think.  So I looked up the actual origins and they are all straight-forward and boring.  Old words being brought over into new languages to make those addressed by those words seem more than they are.  Funny how words do that.  Once there is a new language, old words still linger and are often assimilated into the ‘new’ hybrid language.  Things don’t always go well for those words though.  Sometimes they end up having a negative connotation, just look at the majority of our ‘curse’ words.

Back to my lonely thought…. I can come up with no connection between ‘Sir’ and a man.  Maybe if you take its older form and go with Sire, since men do sire children and whatnot.  However, I believe some stuttering southern fool took us from madam to ma’am.  I don’t know why southern, but he was.  I believe he went to address a lady of the house one day, and that lady had a great… ‘personality’ if you know what I mean.  Such a nice one that he couldn’t bear to look away as he took direction from her.  The single thought going through his head of mammaries.  She finished giving him his direction and asked if he understood.  He dumbfoundedly shook his head and said “Yes, mammar…mamma…mam…*cough* Madam”  She is put off and confused by what he said before Madam.  He tries to cover it and say that due to his amazing dental habits and large gene pool, he has a partial cleft palate and can not easily pronounce D’s so he shortened that word to ma’am to make it easier for him to properly title her.  She is heartened by his obvious care for her and is won over by him, telling all the other belles of the man who cared enough to try and call her madam even though it caused him physical discomfort.  She tells them that he eventually settled on ma’am and it is just the most darling thing she has ever heard.  They decide they must have it to and thus the term caught on fire faster than the forest when Smokey is on vacation and his German cousin Gunther takes the reins.

So there you have it.  The true history of the word ma’am.


  1. Those cops ought to be thoroughly embarrassed. Seriously? They couldn’t kill an animal that big and close with the first 2 shots? They need to be spending more time on the shooting range. Secondly, did the animal really need to be killed? Some farmer just lost a decent chunk of money there when the cops riddled that prime beef with lead. Poor thing. I guess the police department will now be dealing with Cowgate. Oh, and I’m glad to hear that you are still among the living. 😀

    • Here is what the whole situation reminds me of…
      Don’t know if you want to watch it, but it was a South Park episode. One of the first ever aired waaay back in 1997. Essentially they are not allowed to shoot anything unless they scream ‘IT’S COMING RIGHT FOR US!’ And they use it liberally to shoot just about whatever.

  2. It annoys me the cops couldn’t put the cow down cleanly. I understand the need of killing it, don’t want some little kid getting trampled. But come on, they are cops. Their aim can’t be that bad?

    Where is my ‘Now You Know’ picture?

    I too get tired of being asked if I am in a bad mood because I have a German/Irish heritage and inherently look mad when In all reality I am pretty happy and thinking about how nice the weather is.

    • brittany
    • November 6th, 2011

    I was just pondering with a friend the other day about just WHERE some of our words do come from

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