Alliteration is for Assholes: Or How Skyrim, Skyward Sword, my Son, Software and Superheroes Stole My Weekend

On a related note, I realized that maybe, just maybe I have become too attached to electronics.  This most recent of realizations took place in the shower.  Some back story since it is at times appreciated: when I drive I normally put my cell phone between my legs so that I can listen to music and still know if my phone rings due to the pleasant buzzing in my scrotum.  So there I was showering as is my norm, water as hot as possible as I turn maroon, leaning against the wall enjoying it when I apparently turned just right and one of the streams of water hit my left nut just right and it felt like it was vibrating.  Out of instinct I reached for my phone.  Imagine my surprise when I tried to bring it to my mouth.  You may surmise that it didn’t reach.  I was also a little bit more awake than previously.

I think I was going to try and be fun in other ways, but I’m not sure anymore.  My body is screaming at me to go into shut down mode.  It is rather distracting.  My mind is awake though.  As the title surmised, I spent a fair amount of my weekend playing video games.  Well that and working on writing/reworking some software.   It is going rather smooth I think.  There are a few bugs that still need to be worked out, but I am getting there I think.

SKYRIM!

I haven’t played nearly as much of this game as I would like.  This is probably because there are but 24 hours in the day.  That and I have to do the father/husband thing sometimes.  I really really like this game though.  As a matter of fact, I even learned to fly in it.  I don’t think I was supposed to fly however.  See I was wandering through the forest with all the lovely forest critters: the deer, rabbits, elk, and to my surprise a mammoth.  My intentions were not exactly pure I must admit.  I wasn’t only wandering.  I was chasing them while dual-wielding fire spells.  I was roasting them then harvesting their organs.  Extremely fulfilling I do declare.  (Side note.  Sorry.  I have a lot.  My mind is full of shiny objects.  As fulfilling as killing the forest critters is to me, more fulfilling was at work this morning.  We got in a new piece of equipment.  As manufacturers are wont to do, they wrapped, boxed, wrapped, and boxed the unholy hell out of it.  I had to use a hammer and crowbar to get the plywood crate open.  It took 25 minutes of nothing but raw slamming a hammer into the frame of it to tear it apart.  The plywood only tore when I tried to pry, so hammer was the answer as it is in so many cases.  I can not explain to you exactly how good it felt to not only beat the hell out of the crate with a hammer and tear it into pieces, all while getting paid to do it.)  So I was chasing the critters and eating them when I came across a mammoth.  My interest was immediately piqued.  A challenge.  A hairy challenge.  Hair + Fire = awesomeness.  Mwahahahahahahahaha.  I gleefully start roasting the mammoth.  I am at half mast.  Then the giant showed up.  I looked up, swiveled my fire spell, and the giant’s club met my *ahem* body.  I took off like a Pujol’s home run.  I wasn’t even allowed to land before dying.

Skyward Sword!

I’ve put less time into this game so far.  I really enjoy it.  I made sure to buy the collector’s edition so that I got the awesome gold Wii-Mote with the tri-force on it and that came with the cd of the orchestral music of Zelda.  Yes it is in the CD player in my car currently.  I am that geeky.  What of it?  I heard that some people weren’t impressed with this game because ‘it’s a Zelda game’  I must ask, Why would that be a reason to not be impressed?  The Zelda games aren’t all about innovation and pushing the boundaries.  They are fantasy incarnate.  They are the quest, the journey, the story, or may I say the magic of playing it.  There is something fun and whimsical about these games.  That is how I feel.  Now you know.  There are some new things added to this game that I haven’t seen previously though, which I believe is innovation…  Now is it innovation as far as the entire gaming industry?  No, but it is innovation as far as the series is concerned.  There is now a stamina meter.  Once again, not innovation in the spectrum, hell Skyrim has a stamina bar as well.  One difference is that you don’t have to climb and hang on cliffs(as far as I have discovered anyway) while your stamina drains away.  That adds another level of pain-in-the-ass-ity.  There is also quite a bit more humor in this as opposed to other Zelda games.  You are given a Sail Cloth that was hand-made by Zelda that will allow you to parachute when jumping off the back of your bird……. and it smells nice.  Or so the game tells you.  Made me giggle. Not going to lie.

Mostly that was my weekend.  A minor kerfluffle with some family, but that happens.  I did just read something that made me slightly… nervous about ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ and it concerns Bane.  Christopher Nolan has said that the mask on Bane’s face is a gas that he has to have pumped into him to deal with pain from an accident he had.  That..well… displeases me.  It also explains why Bane is not ungodly huge in any of the pictures that we have seen of the movie so far.  Maybe he will be bulked up slightly with CGI, but it isn’t the Venom that is supposed to be pumping in Bane’s Veins.  That angers me.  Because I am that geeky.  He shouldn’t be immune to pain, he should be ungodly huge, strong, and smart to boot.  So I suppose we shall see what comes of that.  There is going to be a 6-7 minute sneak peek of the new movie when the new Mission Impossible movie comes out.  May pay for the movie just for the snippet of Dark Knight.  Not in the least interested in that Mission Impossible movie.  Then again, wait a day and it will be online.  Either way I bid you adieu.  Also. HERE is a link to the article about Bane.

And in honor of Breaking Dawn….

Yes. I’m insensitive.. Blah Blah.  So to recap what I’ve said before.  Do who you want, how you want, when you want; as long as you are happy and it feels good for you, Awesome!  And if it does feel good AND makes you happy…. What the hell does it matter what a narrow-minded prick thinks about your life style?  A public service message from Alaric Rays.

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  1. Good post! I am also way too attached to the electronic gadgets. God- all the things I would buy if I had the money: the new Kindle Fire, Skyrim, new computer, smarter phone, iPod touch, and on and on and on… It’s a good thing my husband likes his alone time, because that’s what he’s getting. hehe. Speaking of the husband, he woke me up last night. I was sound asleep and felt the entire bed shake and thought, “Are we having an earthquake?” ( I WAS sound asleep) Apparently, he had been dreaming about getting into a fight and punched the headboard. I’m really glad that he didn’t punch me, instead. Sorry- went off on one of my tangents again. I haven’t tried Skyward Sword yet. AND I have not seen Breaking Dawn. I feel so deprived. I can’t help it, it’s a guilty pleasure. 😛

    • Funny you should say something about being lucky your husband didn’t punch you. Turns out my wife wasn’t so lucky when she tried to wake me up at 4 this morning. She leaned in to kiss me. I jerked awake(ish) and my arms flew out. My knuckles met her chin. I have no recollection of this, only of her telling me that I did it when she attempted to wake me up again later on. Say what you will about my wife, say she is persistent.

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