Game of thrones drinking game
Alaric Rays
Just trying to keep it together
Posts Tagged ‘ humor ’
The Motherf***ing Pterodactyl
Hilarious video by the oatmeal
Facepalm of the day
I wore this shirt to work today. I like to honor my roots whether that be being a smartass, eating watermelon, potatoes, purple drink, or pasta. Or gaming even. I would have thought this shirt fairly self explanatory. I was wrong. I was asked and I quote “what the hell is that on your shirt, is it a platypus?” I didn’t know how to take that. I stared mouth agape. I do have a few other posts started. Finishing is just an issue apparently. Off to the gym for now.
If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight… » Journalist, Editor, Author of Leaving Mundania
If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight… » Journalist, Editor, Author of Leaving Mundania.
Thought this was pretty funny. Some of the comments are great.
It’s even funnier when….
People at work ask you into their office you ask why this is funny.
Posted from WordPress for Android because Apple is lame
The Random Picture Post
Some things I’ve seen in the last little bit. Some real life, some internets. Either way they made me giggle probably. Or I just felt like sharing. Something in there.
MMPR
I sit on the couch. Playing video games as is norm. All of the sudden Maynard James Keenan busts in and starts filming a music video. I look over in disdain and think to myself “Meh, whatever” and go back to playing my games. After a little bit of that I decide I really need a shower, video games being a rigorous job, and head to the bathroom. I shower and notice that my hair has grown to be shoulder length, sweet. My wife comes in and starts some dirty talk and tells me to wiggle, wiggle, wiggle for her and do a sexy dance. So I do, and rub my junk all up and down the glass, wondering if it looks as funny as boobs pressed against glass and then finish my shower. I finish my shower and get out only to realize that the person filming Maynard’s music video is in my bathroom and had filmed the whole dance I did. I blush hugely and then demand to watch the video. We watch it and I am fairly pleased with how it turned out, glad to see that the camera does indeed add weight to my junk. Apparently my being naked on camera is all that it takes to set off the Zombie Apocalypse because it has now commenced. We all run away from the zombies hoping that something will save us. And then…. The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers show up! They start kicking the zombies’ collective arse and send us away in a space ship to the space station so that we may survive. A huge cry of joy goes up for the Power Rangers! They saved us! Then we get onto the space station and start walking around only to find… Zombie Power Rangers. We are good and truly fucked now. Everybody tries to figure out how to escape.
And then I woke up.
That was my dream last night. It had me awake in a slight stupor and a lot of WTF. Great times all around.
Sooo yeah. How are things going? Pretty decent here. Been quite the busy week. Busy day today even. I changed my own spark plugs. Huzzah for me! Sure it may not be the most difficult thing to do.. but it was my first time and I didn’t ruin anything. I think that is a win. I have also made an adapter for my Skylanders game that my son got for his birthday for the PS3. I realize it is cross platform, but that is what we got it on. I think that game is pretty fun. I would compare it to a mixture of Diablo and Pokemon. The only problem that I have with it is the Portal of Power that came with it. What is that?! You may ask. Well here is a picture…..
That is what it is. It is a wireless device that allows you to put Skylanders action figures on it, and they are ported directly into the game. Pretty neat idea in my opinion. It allows to have a whole party to fight alongside you, but not be on screen. You need a fire person? Pull the current one off the portal and put the fire one on. Need a tech, undead, life, water, magic, earth, or air? Do the same. The game can be beaten with just the three that come in the pack, but to unlock everything you need at least one of each element. The more of them you buy the more perks you get in the game though. So what is my gripe with that portal? It runs on batteries for the Ps3, Wii, and DS versions. The only one that got to use a cable for power was the XBox 360. I don’t know why they lucked out… But it is horseshit. So I took matters into my own hands. I built my own power cable for my portal. Here is how it turned out….
Not too terrible, right? That way you get a bit of techy-look with the magicky-look. I have to confess that I wasn’t smart with the blue LED though, I should have hooked both of them that I had instead of just the one because the one burnt out about a minute after I had it powered up. A failure on my part, so it doesn’t light up super cool right now… but I may fix that in the future. It still works as it should though. I gave it a USB-Mini port as well, so it can be hooked up directly to the Ps3 to use. I just use my phone charger though to hook up the other end of the cable. It works great. I need to do something about the wires between though. May get some heatshrink and bundle them together. That will be another day though, I will call what I got done now a success because I don’t have to buy batteries.
I did do a bit of writing though… I like it too. Guess we will see if I finish it up.
Toodles!
Posted from WordPress for Android because Apple is lame
Some Humor and Truth
Let us get the nasty bit of truth out of the way first. Then we can have some fun. I suppose it is all humorous and truthful, well most of it, but part of the humorous truth makes me an arse. So here is that one…
This was my work week. I ‘worked’ Monday and Tuesday. Have since been enjoying the 5-day weekend. Yay Me!
And now just random funny things. The next one is another funny true. I can relate to it because I get that way when I have an electronic problem.
And now a funny in a sad close-minded kind of funny. The sad kind. Well… I suppose anywhere from sadness to seething rage depending on where you see the issue. It is a lovely snippet from the enlightened Pat Robertson. Do enjoy!
I guess I do have one other thing. Let’s talk driving habits. What do you do when you are all alone in your car? I bet your actions are vastly different from when you have company. I know mine are. I often times worry that I have gone off the deep end when I reflect back on the car trip alone that I just made. I think I spend too much time in the car alone. It is probably around 2 hours a day. Maybe an hour and a half. Either way I believe it is too much time for me to be alone with my thoughts. You don’t know it, but that last line just caused a 10 minute interlude. I was attempting to find a Glen Duncan quote, but failed in doing so. Was a quote about the dangers of leaving a certain man alone with his thoughts. He compared it to…..something. Not good either. Damn I’m eloquent. So, thoughts, driving. I get to thinking in the car. I always end up doing silly things while thinking. I re-enact scenes from earlier in the day/week/month/year or simply things that I would like to do. I play with accents. I get angry at other drivers and get vocal about it. I don’t yell overly loud. I just say mean things in silly ways. Simple things like “Aw laddie why ye be fucking up the top o’ me morning?!” Sometimes rasta, British, or sometimes I have no idea what I am trying to do. I just do it and wait to see how it turns out. I had a great moment driving the other night though. It was on the way to Thanksgiving dinner, traffic was spaced out just enough that nobody was going to do any speeding or passing easily. At least not until some people turned off the road. This does not ever keep a select few from trying to weave in and out anyway or to ride the ass of others and flash their brights. There was a lady waaay up my ass, it didn’t do much more than to make me smile because I couldn’t get over even if I wanted, why worry about what you can’t change? Can speed up to the speed I want if I just wait a couple minutes and wait for the crowd to thin out. Well that lady and a jackass behind her didn’t get that memo and both were being ridiculous with bouncing back and forth and not getting anywhere due to spacing of said traffic. Finally a space opened up and I was able to get over to let the other people go on. Unfortunately I was feeling particularly vindictive at the SUV-driving dick. I acted like I was going to pass the slower person in front of me on the right, which would have allowed him to do the same. He got excited and had the tip of his bumper up my tailpipe in no time. I sped up until my rear bumper was even with the left-lane person’s front bumper. Then I slowed down. He got pissed and swerved back to the left lane. That lady slowed down and allowed me to start to pass again. He jumped on the chance and tried to swerve yet again. I slowed down again. He is furious and slamming on his steering wheel. I am giggling like a school girl. The other lady got tired of the game and finally sped up, let him pass, and then road his ass for good measure with her brights on.
Hmm my story changed tense there towards the end. Maybe it didn’t really keep one at all. Oh well. The point was made. Ah. Wrong point though. Back to the first point. I do crazy shit in the car alone. I wonder if you do the same or if I should legitimately be worried about my marbles and how round they are or aren’t or if I have them all. Also make up songs a lot. Well.. Digest that and we shall talk again soon. I will let some more of my crazy out maybe. Have to be careful in relationships like this. If you let all your crazy out too fast, you scare people off.
Night
Skyward Sword and Other Stories
So as much as I am looking forward to buying Skyrim(waiting until the 17th) I am just as excited for Skyward Sword. Apparently it is a Sky*.* month. There is still some nice weather currently, maybe that is why. Either way, here is a trailer for Skyward Sword. I love the Zelda series and have played almost every one of the games. Ocarina of Time is one of the all-time best games ever in my opinion. That is part of why I am so excited for this new game. I have yet to see a negative about it, it is even being touted as one of the best games for the last 10 years. I would love for that to be proven right, well to an extent. If that is true then the other games I have bought may not get play. Hm.. It is a toughy. One of the cool things in the game is that your Wii-Mote is essentially your sword. However you hold the controller, the sword is moved in that direction. There will be enemies that have shields that you have to actually move a certain way to defeat them. That is exciting to me. I hope that it is as fulfilling as it seems it should be. Not many games have taken that in-depth control of the Wii-Mote. At least none that I have played. If I am wrong, may the gamer gods strike me down.
Here is hint at my geekiness….
That is fresh after I got it. Been 3 years now. So the hair grew back in case you were worried.
Now then. I have an idea that came to me whilst working earlier. I suppose it was the thought of parenting, and if I am going to add a second chitlin at any point. I have just over 4 years to do so until my personal cut-off age. So I was pondering about the wee widdle bon bon that would be in the oven and that got me to thinking about all that you are supposed to do to help it along: eating right, not straining yourself, vitamins, and playing classical music on your stomach for he/she/it to listen to. If playing classical music at that stage actually helps….Why not take it further? I say we make a pair of underwear for men. Boxer Briefs would probably be good. They allow for some room but still some support. Now with that extra room, what we are going to do is install speakers and/or an mp3 player with classical music built in. When you are getting ready to conceive, you wear these underwear. Let’s call them BallRocks or Classiball Briefs, or The Scrotal Serenader, or maybe just Fancy Fruits. With that system your sperm are all preconditioned, smarter, and more will make it to the goal(the egg in case you were wondering or this is your first time). Not only that, but you get a pleasant tingling in your business all day. I say it’s a win win win.
A fun experiment with that, a little nature vs nurture or just silliness. Provide different mp3 players at random to different guys when they are trying to conceive. Allow for some rap, some classical, some rock, metal, oriental, folk, country, or whatever suits your fancy for the experiment. Now see who is most successful at conceiving. Also see if some guys would be willing to donate to a petri dish and watch the spermies under a microscope. See if any are dancing crazily or attempting to interbreed. Find some ladies willing to partake and see if they end up tasting different. Maybe the oriental seems good but leaves you craving more 30 min later?
Maybe that is just a bit much and the fun would have lasted longer without the stereotypes. I disagree. Take it and laugh. And now for a story. The story will probably not surprise you much considering my underwear ideas. For the sake of redundancy I feel I should tell you that I can be a bit of a smartass. Quite frequently as a matter of fact. This is a fact that my son has picked up on. He has also started imitating me. I’ve begun to realize that I will soon be out-matched. Children are sponges. They learn language amazingly starting at age 2. This is why it is ideal to introduce them to a second language at that time. Alas, I fear that the second language he has picked up is sarcasm. And so it was that I was picking the wife up from work yesterday. We had some shopping to do so we were walking around. Just getting the norm, some milk, other food, and cleaning supplies. Our son though, being 4 decided that he wanted to walk off. We got on to him and told him to get back over to us. He did what kids do and ignored us. So the wife told him a little bit more adamantly. He calmly turns around and looks at her and says ‘Yes’m massa’. I turned purple with laughter. This was probably not the right response. The wife informed me that she really dislikes me sometimes. I laughed more. And thus my smartassery comes around to bite me in my ass, which doesn’t seem to be all that smart anymore.
Good Night.
Alaric Rays 